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Tulsa Collaborative Divorce: An Alternative to Traditional Divorce

When two people decide to divorce, it does not have to be a difficult process. Neither party has to face a long and drawn out battle with numerous court dates and large expenses. Both parties can agree to opt for a collaborative divorce.

When collaborating a divorce, both parties sit down and negotiate every aspect of the divorce settlement in a controlled environment. Using mediators and their attorneys, each party can negotiate the terms of their divorce without having to go to court.

This type of negotiation process often eliminates all of the emotions attached to a divorce and allows both parties to move forward without issue. In reality, emotional issues are often what cause divorces to be delayed and adds to their overall expense.

 

Benefits To Collaborative Divorce

 

When a divorce is brought before a judge to decide on issues, both parties can assume that they will be unhappy with the outcome. The judge is not interested in any personal issues or exceptions, they are only interested in dividing assets and debts, assigning custody for children, and determining support amounts. He/She will use a very standard formula to make these decisions.

The judge has many cases to hear each day. Because of this schedule, they move through cases as quick as possible when it comes to things like divorce so that they can clear their caseload. This is why the outcome often disappoints each party.

To avoid this type of outcome and to ensure that both parties walk away from the marriage satisfied, a collaborative divorce is encouraged. This type of negotiation process allows each party to negotiate what they want when leaving the marriage and what they are willing to give.

The negotiation process also reduces the need to go back before the court at a later date because everything is agreed upon before the divorce papers are presented to the judge for approval.

The other most important benefit of using collaboration for your divorce is the reduction in time. When you have to go before the judge for approval on every part of your divorce, you have to wait for a court date to open. This can delay your finalization by months and prevent either party from moving on with their lives and beginning the healing process.

 

How Does The Collaboration Process Work?

When you opt for collaboration to end your marriage, you have made a choice to simplify the process. Collaboration follows a very specific guideline and begins with the hiring of Tulsa collaborative divorce attorneys.

  • Hire Attorney. You will want to find Tulsa collaborative divorce attorneys to handle your case. An attorney specially trained in collaborative proceedings will be more beneficial to you than one who is a standard divorce attorney. Lawyers specially trained in collaboration know how to approach the issues of divorce. Thus both parties can approach the negotiation process in a successful way.
  • Sign Agreement. By making a full commitment to the collaboration process you will enter into the negotiations in a better state of mind. All the people involved in these negotiations understand that this is a difficult and emotional time for both parties. Both attorneys will require their clients to sign an agreement to stay in the collaboration process until the divorce is finalized. This agreement helps encourage both parties to stay at the negotiation table and work things out. Most contracts also stipulate that if either party leaves the negotiations, the process is over and both parties will need to find new legal representation and start the divorce over again.
  • Full Disclosure. One of the most important parts of the collaboration is full disclosure. This includes disclosure of all assets as well as all debts incurred in the marriage. Some of the biggest delays come during a divorce proceeding when one person tries to hide assets. In the end, and usually after a lot of time and expense, these assets and debts will be revealed, so it is better to be straightforward at the beginning to help the process move quickly.
  • Needs vs. Wants. If you approach the negotiation table considering your needs instead of your wants, you often end up with both. When you are willing to negotiate to cover your needs, such as a house to raise the children or a car to get to work, your soon-to-be-ex will be more willing to give into some of your wants as well. If the other person believes you are approaching this fairly, they are more willing to give.
  • Keep Future In Sight. It is very easy for one or both parties to focus all of their energy and emotions on the past. Anger towards the other spouse for what they did to cause the divorce or just for filing for divorce should not be the guide for your negotiations. Try to focus on the future and what you will need to start over. This is especially important if you are going to be the custodial parent. You need to plan for the future.
  • Work Towards An Agreement. Part of the negotiation process is give and take. You must be willing to work towards a settlement so that you can move forward with your life. Your attorneys will encourage you to stay focused during the negotiations so that you can reach a final agreement.
  • Agreement. Both parties come to a final agreement. Then  any parenting plan is established and the attorneys draw up the final paperwork for the divorce. After careful review by both parties and their attorneys, the documents will be signed. They then send the divorce paperwork  to the court for final approval.
  • Dissolution. Once the court approves the divorce paperwork and parenting plan, they will grant the divorce. The dissolution is now complete.

Going through a divorce is never easy. However, it also does not have to be difficult. Opting for a collaborative style divorce may be the best choice for an easy transition from married to non-married life. Collaboration process makes people not feel as if they have been cheated by the divorce proceeding. As a result, they can leave the marriage on better terms.